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As of June 1st, 2016, we have started building a beautiful new website in preparation for the release of our first course, titled 

"How to Die: At Peace and Without Fear" 

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www.liveasyouwishtodie.com

How to Help the Dying

In your lifetime you will most likely experience the passing away of someone who is near to you. There is a good possibility that one of these people may be succumbing to a terminal illness such as cancer or heart disease or something else.

Most people will jump to conclusions about how that person must be feeling. People will often find that when they cry and despair over the thought of losing this person, they are thinking mostly about how they themselves will cope with the absence of this person.

But when you get past this initial stage of grief and fear, there can sometimes be a limbo that we enter into, where we can begin to think more outside of ourselves. We begin to think of what the dying person may need from us in their final days, in order to find inner peace.

We may look at the dying person and think "How horrible it is that they're dying". The truth is that you cannot know that it's horrible to die, and it is not quite fair to project this belief onto another person. They may not know how they feel yet.

We are all born, and we will all die.

Listening to someone is the most powerful thing you can do for any human being. When someone feels that they are truly being heard, it takes the weight off of their shoulders, and they are able to rest in peace. The greatest gift you can give to someone is to listen to them and to try and understand how they must be feeling. (Of course, you may never know how they're feeling, and you must be okay with this unknown as well - for their sake).

Sometimes people just need to talk, uninterrupted.

Allow your loved one to take the lead on how they want to live their life, and on how they want to be with you. There will be appropriate times to ask them questions or talk about things that have been on your mind. The process that is taking over their body is their own, and the most respectful thing you can do is to follow them along in their journey. To be there for them when they become ready to talk about how their body feels, what they have been thinking about, and if they have regrets in their life.

If there is one thing I learned from going through the journey towards death with my Mom, it's this:

As soon as we began to accept what was happening, the easier things became.

Of course it wasn't easy to know that she would die - and I didn't know when it would happen - But once we understood that there was no way out of the situation, the energy changed for us. We were able to open up in dialogue, and I believe that a big part of this was that Mom was not afraid. I was not afraid for her either. I knew that as she approached her date of death that she was coming more and more into contact with the Great Beyond, the Divine, God, Heaven, or any other name you use.

She had wisdom far greater than I, and she knew where she was going.

At the point of entry to the other side of the veil, your final thought can leave an energetic impression on the last thread of connection between body and spirit. Help your loved one plan for this, and ask them if they would like a certain kind of music to be playing, or if they wish they can pick a prayer or a mantra or a phrase that they can repeat in their mind. If it's written down, you can begin to say it to them as well.

The Light in me sees the Light in you ~ Namaste, Nicole

How to Deal with Death (When You're the One Who's Dying)

It has happened to others that you know, but you never thought it could happen to you.

You have been diagnosed with heart disease, cancer or another terminal illness. You may feel hopeless, confused, lost, betrayed, filled with sadness, or grief or even be experiencing a furious rage.

How could this happen to me?

And you may go on a Google quest furiously researching your illness, recounting other peoples' experiences, and desperately seeking for hope, for guidance, for someone who is going through what you are now.

How do you deal with death when you're the one who's dying?

Who can you turn to that understands what you're going through? Who can at least provide some insight, some feedback, or simply an ear to listen to you?

Family members have a very difficult time dealing with the fact that you will be leaving them.

But what about the one who is dying?

There will be many different stages that you go through in this journey, almost like the recovery program ... Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has written great books outlining all her research into what dying people want and need.

For a more spiritual take on dying, I thoroughly appreciated "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying", by Sogyal Rinpoche. This book actually explains how your body begins to prepare itself for death, and also delves into the energetic and spiritual process of dying as well. A very enlightening read for not only the person who is dying, but also for their loved ones.

My Mom was dying from Stage 4 lung cancer for 2 1/2 years after her diagnosis. When she was given an actual timeline, she never told me how long she had left, and I didn't ask. We all made a conscious decision to enjoy every day, every moment.

My Mom and I had a great relationship, and a very deep understanding of what she was going through. We had many deep conversations about death, and she told me so many times that she was not afraid to die. She said she knew where she was going. One afternoon, she told me again that she was not afraid, and said to me, "I get to see what's behind the veil". I said to her in return, "You must be so excited!". And she was!

This is just the beginning of a movement that begins to educate the western world about death and dying ... and I am so grateful to be a part of it. Namaste & Love, Nicole

Not Afraid to Die

When my Mom decided to move to my hometown, at my request, she had been living with her cancer diagnosis for just over a year and a half. I wanted to understand all that I could about the spiritual process of dying, and so I purchased a few books that I thought would shed some light on what Mom was going through.


The most enlightening book that I read at the time was "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying", by Sogyal Rinpoche. This book helped me to look at death and dying in a new light - so rather than looking at death with fear and uncertainty, I began to view death as a transition, or an energetic shift. I even began to recall some deep inner truths of my own. Mom and I were both going through a deep process of seeing the bigger picture.


I remember so clearly the first time she told me she was not afraid to die. I had held this belief for myself since as far back as I could remember, but I had never talked with her about this. She said that she knew where she was going, that she believed in God, and that she was even looking forward to going to Heaven. This conversation with her opened my eyes, my mind and my heart to Why I had not ever been afraid of death. For so many of my beliefs I hadn't been able to explain or back up my "theories", but in talking with Mom, I finally felt that there was some clarity to what I had believed for my entire life.


My dying Mother taught me so much about life in her last months on this earth. She was honest and open and so clear about everything, and I am so incredibly grateful that we were able to connect in this way.


This course that I've written is simply me sharing the many lessons Mom taught me, unbeknownst to her. I now yearn to share this knowledge, this honest wisdom, to whomever needs to receive it. What truly blows my mind is that my Mom would never think that others would want to hear her story, and the things she taught me. She always thought that she was an unremarkable person, but her honest, trusting, and intrinsically good nature were qualities that mean so much to the world.

Life as We Live It

Life is too short to wake up each day with aches and pains. And life is definitely too short to wake up every day feeling regret, shame or disappointments. You have the power inside of you to live your life in the most satisfying way possible, but it is up to you. No one else can choose your happiness for you.


Live As You Wish To Die.


No one wants to wake up ten years from now wondering where they went wrong, as they simmer in feelings of despair and hardship, fear and anger. What is it that you want?


"Live as You Wish to Die" is a mantra I have developed for myself, and I try to live this truth every day. I'm not going to lie - lately it has been more difficult for me. I understand that although there is a ton of uncertainty in my life, now is the time when I need to be most focused on what I want next. I understand that in a time of uncertainty, when the soil has been turned and everything looks messy, is the most incredibly fertile time there is. Each day I wake up holding gratitude in my mind for all that I have - a happy & healthy family, enough food in my belly and clothes on my back, an amazing job doing what I love, a great car that takes us safely from work to home to the kids' activities and so on ...


But today is every day. Perhaps today is my only chance to make my mark on the world around me. What if that were true? What should I do today that is different and special? How should I interact with those around me? Should I look straight ahead when I'm standing in a line, or should I be friendly to my neighbours, offering a smile or a little joke? Should I be interacting with the world around me? Should I try to spread a little sunshine today?


I try, every day, to live a path of Love and Joy. I strive to see through the eyes of love, and speak to others with joy and appreciation. I also try to treat myself with love and joy. I accept others for who they are, whatever that entails. I try to see the very best in every person I meet!


What does it mean to live as you wish to die? It means:
 
- That you live as if today were your last day on Earth


- One huge certainty in life is that we will all die, and I believe that how we live will greatly impact the manner in which we die


- Do you want to die in suffering, anxiety and pain? .... No?


Then STOP living your life in suffering, anxiety and pain. You have the power, and you have the control to take power over your worldly existence. It is up to you to live the life of your dreams. No one can do this for you. You are accountable for your own happiness.


Some people do not have the luxury of time when it comes to choosing happiness, and they are forced to show up in their own lives every day. Many people who have a terminal illness face the harsh reality of a limited time remaining, and absolutely must choose to enjoy each moment. What else can a person do when they could die in a matter of days, weeks or months? What would YOU do?


Live each day as you wish to die - In Peace, in Love, and in Joy, in Acceptance, in Mindfulness and in Wisdom.


Coming Soon ... a course titled "How to Die: At Peace and Without Fear". Created for those who have been given a timeline, and would like to find their way towards a peaceful and joyful passing.

We are All Dying

Hasn't anyone ever told you? We are all dying. It is happening every single day from the moment we are born, and yet so many of us fear this beautiful transition. There is nothing wrong with fear, as it can be used as a tool  for change, a catalyst for growth and a feat that we have the opportunity to conquer. Life is a series of moments, circumstances and situations that all lead up to the way in which we approach our final moments.




There is absolutely nothing to fear when it comes to our final hours, we are simply lacking the information and understanding of what it will feel like. But so many great sages, buddhas and monks have gone before us, and have made it their mission to gather this information, to pass it on to the rest of us. The information is available, and all we have to do is to reach out for it in a genuine openness and willingness to hear the message.


We are all dying.


Want to know more? Coming soon ... How to Die: At Peace and Without Fear - A course in removing the fear and stigma of death and dying ... on Udemy.