How to Deal with Death (When You're the One Who's Dying)

It has happened to others that you know, but you never thought it could happen to you.

You have been diagnosed with heart disease, cancer or another terminal illness. You may feel hopeless, confused, lost, betrayed, filled with sadness, or grief or even be experiencing a furious rage.

How could this happen to me?

And you may go on a Google quest furiously researching your illness, recounting other peoples' experiences, and desperately seeking for hope, for guidance, for someone who is going through what you are now.

How do you deal with death when you're the one who's dying?

Who can you turn to that understands what you're going through? Who can at least provide some insight, some feedback, or simply an ear to listen to you?

Family members have a very difficult time dealing with the fact that you will be leaving them.

But what about the one who is dying?

There will be many different stages that you go through in this journey, almost like the recovery program ... Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has written great books outlining all her research into what dying people want and need.

For a more spiritual take on dying, I thoroughly appreciated "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying", by Sogyal Rinpoche. This book actually explains how your body begins to prepare itself for death, and also delves into the energetic and spiritual process of dying as well. A very enlightening read for not only the person who is dying, but also for their loved ones.

My Mom was dying from Stage 4 lung cancer for 2 1/2 years after her diagnosis. When she was given an actual timeline, she never told me how long she had left, and I didn't ask. We all made a conscious decision to enjoy every day, every moment.

My Mom and I had a great relationship, and a very deep understanding of what she was going through. We had many deep conversations about death, and she told me so many times that she was not afraid to die. She said she knew where she was going. One afternoon, she told me again that she was not afraid, and said to me, "I get to see what's behind the veil". I said to her in return, "You must be so excited!". And she was!

This is just the beginning of a movement that begins to educate the western world about death and dying ... and I am so grateful to be a part of it. Namaste & Love, Nicole